This is for all you dads-to-be, who have a newly pregnant wife and are alternately thrilled and terrified by the changes going on in her body, the changes that are happening in your marriage…and in your sex life. Sex is obviously how you got into this state in the first place, so there’s no shame or anything to be embarrassed about. You and the missus had some fun (well, hopefully more than some), and boom! Baby! So what happens now that she’s pregnant? Your sex drive certainly isn’t going to turn off…and here’s a little tip, men: neither does hers.
Well, usually it doesn’t.
Once your better half gets past the retching and misery of the first trimester, the second trimester can be one of the most fun times of your mutual lives. She’s feeling better again, and her body is changing, but it’s in a way that she often actually enjoys. She’ll become curvier, and she’ll feel…well, she’ll feel sexy! Something about the lushness of pregnancy: the roundness, the ripeness. It’s very sensual. Her hormones are very active, but she’s not moody. Frankly, she’s often horny, and this is the time to take advantage of it, before the baby gets so big your wife’s body becomes ungainly and she gets tired and achy all the time. However, sex is possible at all stages of pregnancy, unless her doctor has said no. A lot of guys get nervous about wanting some lovin’ from their ladies while they’re pregnant, usually owing to silly misconceptions. Let’s delve a bit into the mysteries of pregnant sex, and see if you can get your mutual mojo back.
1. No, you won’t poke the baby in the head! I’ve heard guys ask this, shamefaced, for years. I confess, I actually was a little nervous the first time around, too. I had these “Look Who’s Talking 2” images flashing through my head, of traumatizing my kid…or having him or her come out with a suspiciously-familiar-looking divot in the top of their head. Relax. The baby is safely distant from your libidinous activities, cozily ensconced in mom’s uterus, with the cervix tightly closed between Mr. Happy (or whatever you call yours) and him or her.
2. Yes, she wants sex, too! Unless your wife is very ill (maybe extended morning sickness) or uncomfortable (hemorrhoids, constipation, the list goes on…), her body is very happy with the idea of sex. She and you both may feel awkward about things at first, knowing your child is between you (literally), but it can also add a whole new dimension of tenderness and closeness to things. I know some guys who say their ladies were repelled by the idea of sex, and others who say their wives were horny monsters, but according to my experience, it’s something in between. My advice to you is, play it by ear. If she’s sending “leave me alone” vibes, take heed. If she seems touchy-feely, explore the possibilities (hint: asking for a foot rub isn’t necessarily an invitation to seduction, but it could be turned into one with proper care)
3. Be careful, accommodating…but have fun. The first few months of pregnancy are, sex-wise, not much different from before you knocked her up, although she might be nauseated every now and then, and her breasts might be extra-tender (although some women love that). In the second trimester, the belly arrives, but as long as you’re careful, you should be ok. Third-trimester playing around requires logistics: think creatively as far as positions (on your sides, “spooning” with her in front is a great one, as is the tried-and-true from-behind approach). However, the planning is worth it, because many women report that they are much more sensitive “down there” due to hormones and extra fluid causing greater sensitivity.
Above all, enjoy yourselves. All too soon, the baby will be there, and you’ll have a whole new set of sex-obstacles to overcome. Ah, the joys of fatherhood!